Tramp & Trail

Write-up: Tom Smith
Leader: Gordon Potter
Co-Leader: Tom Smith

The OK Slip Falls Expedition

On a perfect bright and sunny day with what seemed like 350 happy hikers we headed out for an eight-mile round trip hike to OK Slip falls. The group was led by Gordon Potter and his intrepid co-leader who will remain anonymous, we’ll call him Sir Thomas ( not his real name). And by the way, Louis and Clark had nothing on these two adventurers.

As the group headed out Dick ( not his real name ) noticed that there were a couple of people hiking with us for the first time. Quickly realizing that he had a new audience for his old stories he inserted himself in between these two young ladies and began talking. The rest of us were wondering if these new hikers would enjoy the hike with us enough to keep coming out. But in a very short time we were wondering no more. Just as Dick (remember this is not his real name) was finishing his 26th story I heard one of the ladies murmur something about this being a major mistake. Of course this didn’t slow Dick down a bit, he was not about to let a new audience escape his grasp.

So onward we went. Now with a group this size, Sir Thomas was thinking that if we got away with a 10% loss we’d be doing pretty well. Unfortunately, Lady Dianna ( as you guessed, it’s not her real name ) informed Sir Thomas that we will suffer no losses and it was his responsibility to see that we all get out safe and sound. Sir Thomas was thinking this new responsibility could hamper his enjoyment of the hike, but it was to get even worse for our hero.

Sir Thomas – who loves to hike very quickly – was informed by Lady Dianna that as co-leader and sweep he would be required to be the last one in line. More specifically, that meant hiking at a pace much reduced from what he would prefer. Soon after this revelation a series of rapid questions and answers ensued which you only need hear the answers to guess the questions. “No, you can not hit the other hikers with your hiking sticks to get them to speed up.” “No, even poking is not allowed.” “And no, swinging near their heads is also not allowed.”

As demoralizing as this conversation was for Sir Thomas he knew he had one more trick up his sleeve to speed the hike up. That was until Lady Dianna mentioned that throwing rocks to encourage a faster pace was also not allowed. She was really pouring on the bad news to our poor hero.

Eventually the group arrived at the falls and while everyone was busy unpacking lunches Sir Thomas thought he’d take a quick jaunt down a side trail to view the Hudson River. The question was whether to take right off or share the cookies that he baked and promised to share with the others. As you can imagine, Sir Thomas took off thinking that the cookies would taste better after everyone had a little time to digest their lunch. Although I believe he was just too excited about taking a little hike at a more reasonable pace than the group was doing. So off he goes jogging over hill and dale in an effort to return to the group in time to assume his co-leading duties.

And sure enough he caught up to the group as they were beginning their return trip. The group was not happy about being denied their promised cookies but our hero quickly had them out of his backpack and ready to pass around. It was just about this time with 349 angry eyes watching that he discovered a secret of the woods. When one jogs with a container full of cookies in his backpack they are magically transformed into crumbs.

Hoping nobody would realize the misfortune he quietly started passing out handful of crumbs. Unfortunately, nobody was fooled by the subterfuge and talk of a hanging seemed to be spreading through the group. As nobody was very interested in a handful of crumbs our hero was left with most of what he brought. But fear not – as you will learn – the cookie crumb story has a happy ending.

So the merry marauders continued on and eventually the trip came to and end with everyone making it out safely. At this time Lady Dianna did inform Sir Thomas that the success of the mission really had nothing to do with his sweeping abilities and she was glad that he not only carried the cookies in but had to carry them back out. Our hero could only smile at this because he had discovered yet another secret of the woods. When one jogs with a container of cookies in his backpack they are magically transformed into ice cream toppings. And rumor has it that Sir Thomas experimented with this new found topping on more than one dish of ice cream that night.

And so ends the saga of yet another successful Tramp and Trail hike.